OctoNovemCember: Early Christmas and Holiday Burnout

Have you heard about OctoNovemCember and do you know about the Pumpkin Headed Turkey Claus?

Bah Humbug!

According to this article from NBC News, Christmas is starting a whole lot earlier this year, and I’m not too happy about it. In my opinion, October (or before) is too soon for the holiday season to be in full swing.

The OctoNovemCember craze is an economic push to ensure that retailers make the most money in a down economy and consumers get a break on prices, scoring amazing deals that help them fulfill their holiday shopping lists during the recession. Seems like a win-win proposition doesn’t it?

But if you look deeper, you’ll see how this cultural phenomenon cheapens Christmas and detracts from the meaning of the holidays. When Christmas comes so early, it’s reduced to something far too commercialized. When I see so much Christmas surrounding me months and months in advance, by the time the day after Thanksgiving rolls around, my eyes start to glaze over and I don’t even notice the holiday decorations anymore, ones that have been assaulting my senses for months.

Is it authentic to begin Christmas in late September or early October when people are still wearing shorts and flip flops during warm early fall days? To declare the winter holidays in full swing when the Halloween pumpkins are still on the ground and we haven’t even thought about Thanksgiving dinner?

Next thing you know, they’ll be declaring “Christmas in July” as the true start of the holiday season, and we’ll all feel pressure to put up a holiday tree in red and green at our next backyard barbeque! Or we’ll have Christmas trees and tinsel on the beach, giving in to media pressure, as ads declare less than 6 months of shopping days til Christmas!

Better hurry up before all the good deals are gone! Perhaps we can all get the jump on the season by leaving all our holiday decorations up and never taking them down as the holidays are surely coming earlier and earlier with frightening speed...

I don’t want the Christmas holidays reduced to a unique sales pitch, but that’s what culture is giving us this year. I intend to fight back by finding ways to honor the true sentiment behind the holiday season.

I noticed this trend of Christmas coming earlier and earlier a few years ago; in fact, I wrote an article that shared some thoughts about how I am coping with the early Christmas season and holiday burnout:

Christmas Season Starting Earlier: Does It Lead to Holiday Burnout? by Allison West Published on Socyberty

The Christmas shopping season is starting super early this year. Being surrounded by Christmas trees and holiday lights is already giving me burnout, and it’s only early November!

I’ll admit it: I’m not always a Christmas person. In the past I’ve had my moments of seasonal depression, and as much as I promise myself I’ll feel sunny and upbeat over the holidays, Christmas sometimes makes me feel a little blue. Even when nothing’s wrong, and I should feel on top of the world, there gets to be a point over the holidays when the rows and rows of Christmas merchandise and glittering Christmas trees start to close in on me and I can’t even breathe. Read on...

Embracing the Shadow Self Through Memoir Writing

“Creation I considered a danger to my loves, my human relationships. In creation I would reveal what I was, in opposition to the roles I played to be whatever anyone needed.” -- Anais Nin

The above photo is one of the self portraits I shot while writing my memoir “Soul Tripper.”

This summer I watched Nik Wallenda walk a wire high over Niagara Falls. What a risky feat! It was so inspiring, the power of his total focus. It made me believe anything is possible.

In my opinion, engaging in memoir writing could be one of the riskiest endeavors you’ll ever undertake. It’s a life-altering, high-wire act. First, you must summon the courage to expose yourself and your life through this type of writing. Many well meaning memoir writers are unable to take this leap of faith and work on their projects, paralyzed with fear about the possible repercussions of such unbridled honesty.

Then, you might become consumed with worry about the effects such truthful writing will have on your life and relationships. Pondering memoir writing, it often becomes very clear how big the divide is between our private authentic selves and the public self we share with others. Finally, you have to actually sit down and write your story, pushing past all the distractions and excuses to organize your thoughts and experiences and turn them into words through the creative art of memoir writing. This demands total focus.

I think this is why so many people aspire to write memoir, but so few actually do get their projects completed and published. There is a price tag attached to memoir writing, and that is: relinquishing the public persona or inauthentic self that is a mask we are often all too comfortable wearing. Our masks help us get along or get ahead in life and win love and approval, and we’ll take that love, approval and success, even if we have to trade off feeling loved and accepted for our real self.

Memoir writing that exposes the shadow or “dark side” reveals our truest selves to others, with no room to be phony, adopt a facade, or conceal the authentic self. That can be very satisfying and fulfilling while at the same time, it’s truly terrifying and risky. Suppose we reveal the fullness of our humanity to others by showing them our true identity, shadows and the light, and we are not loved? Suppose we are rejected for not being who they want us to be?

It’s a risk we all must take. We all want to be loved for our authentic self. But while others can play the game, altering and giving away parts of their true selves in order to please others and win their love, memoir writers dance along the edge, boldly requiring other people to love us for our truest, unmasked selves. When you’ve opened up and exposed the Self in memoir writing, you can’t hide. It’s all out there, all your frailties, failures, personal history, and darker impulses exposed on the page.

If you’re meeting new people, dating or forming a new relationship, making friends, relating to relatives, the authentic “you” is out there if you’re a memoir writer. As people discover and read your memoir, it can be a real game changer in your life. Relationships could possibly break up, friends may come and go, and family ties may be renegotiated as people in the memoir writer’s life adjust to such a blatant assertion of authenticity.

So that really levels the playing field. As you go deeper into memoir writing, you could get some responses that are negative, like “I didn’t know you were like that.” Or maybe family, friends, dates or acquaintances will be confused or angry when you no longer play a role for them that they are comfortable with. They might even ask: “Who are you?” or insist that the person illuminated in memoir is “not the real you.”

The gift in all that memoir writing is: the miracle of truly knowing who YOU are.

When you have that through your memoir writing, once you have that, you’ll never look back. You won’t be so willing to be inauthentic, to trade away pieces of your true self just to please another person, to win their love. You won’t need or want to because embracing the shadow, making peace with those parts of yourself you thought were scary, unworthy or unacceptable, you’ll come to a place of radical self acceptance and unshakable self love.

Once you feel that sense of wholeness and identity, inner peace and authentic self love, you’ll draw a sacred circle around your world to protect it. You’ll start to make healthier choices that honor self love, and you’ll naturally repel anything that seeks to violate the boundaries of the healthy authentic self.

That has been my experience, writing and publishing my memoir called “Soul Tripper: A Journey of Awakening.” It opened me up to embracing the shadow sides of me I used to feel were shameful, as well as the more socially acceptable sides of myself I present to the outside world.

So you may think you’ll lose everything writing memoir, but there’s so much more to be gained. I’ve known writers who tell me they want to write memoir but they are scared; perhaps they’ll just write their stories as fiction, because they are just not ready to expose the Shadow Self, to shake up their comfortable existence by revealing their truth.

To those writers I say, I truly understand your conflicts, but by hanging back and repressing your impulses to share the true self through memoir writing, you are being shortchanged. If you don’t embrace your shadow self or dark side and integrate all aspects of yourself through memoir, you’ll never embrace this glittering jewel known as true authenticity.

Embracing the shadow self through memoir writing has changed my life like nothing else has. I feel a deep sense of knowing about my true Self. I’ve been able to make peace with aspects of my past and experience a profound healing by writing memoir. I finally feel like I know who I really am, and I am able to love and embrace this authentic self for the first time in my life. Now that I have experienced that breakthrough feeling of deep self love, inner knowledge and wholeness, I know it’s something no one can ever take away from me.

So if you’re ready to take the big leap and be the high-wire walking Wallenda of your own life, find the courage to sit down and write that memoir (then publish it!) You won’t regret it!

Recovering a Sense of Wonder: Find the Magic in Ordinary Days

I snapped a picture of beautiful red roses blooming in the garden on just another ordinary day. Roses like these are hardy and have survived to bloom for years without any special care. The rose bush comes into glorious bloom for only a few days before its youthful flowers turn brown, so I wanted to capture the lush colors and radiant fullness by taking a photo.

I have to confess I leave my driveway many times over the course of the summer and look but rarely see the roses. I’m glad I had the mindfulness to seize the moment.

I’m finding more and more that colorful flowers and the natural things we often take for granted bring beauty and joy to the every day. Too bad we can’t tear ourselves away from a million other distractions, obligations and concerns to actually notice them.

I’ve heard it said we live in a “microwave society.” We want it now, we never want to wait. Whatever happened to the concept of stopping to smell the roses? That seems a bit retro and outmoded in this relentlessly digital age.

Technology has spoiled us; we are fast moving and industrialized. In the march of the machines many of us have become subtly addicted to electronic devices. I read an online poll that revealed some people would be more upset to lose their mobile phone than their wedding ring!

Maybe because I read and write about Jane Austen, I long for simpler times unburdened by rapidly changing technology. I remember a time many years ago when I was working my first real corporate job after college. I came home after work to sit on my balcony in the old Victorian house where I rented my first apartment. I felt like such a grownup!

I had no microwave; I had no air conditioning. I wasn’t a cook by any means so dinner often meant heating up a frozen chicken and mashed potato dinner in a hot oven on an even hotter night, to be eaten on my little balcony. This was years before personal computers, email, smartphones, tablets and notebooks. I was fully unplugged as the moon hung low in the night sky over my balcony and the crickets played a soundtrack for the little Norman Rockwell-like village I called home.

We are so much more advanced now, and life seems to hold so many possibilities with the new breakthroughs in technology that arrive every day, but I often find my heart aches with nostalgia for that simpler time. My eyes fill with tears thinking about its simplicity and its grace.

I would like to rewind to find the magic in those mundane, ordinary days. But of course, despite my misty nostalgia, you really can’t go back. All we really have to work with is here, in the NOW.

In the present, I reached a point where I felt a bit oppressed by technology, and the burden it creates. How it distracts from important things and separates us from the organic, natural world. In the old days, you could pick up a phone and call or hand write a note to let someone know you are thinking of them. In modern times, social media creates pressure to connect with everyone you’ve ever known who is somehow added to your network. If you don’t respond to an email or online update it affects friendships and then there is the overwhelming pressure to keep up with many different internet accounts at once.

Add to that the very adult pressures of making a living and keeping a freelance career afloat in a dismal economy, and you have the recipe for a whopping migraine headache, just like the one I experienced one week this summer during one of the worst heat waves in recent memory. I woke up one humid day with a pain in my neck and head that fit the pattern of a migraine; sure enough, by evening I felt an excruciating, throbbing pain localized behind my left eye.

Since it was around the Fourth of July holiday, I didn’t feel so guilty unplugging. After all, this was a vacation time, and didn’t I need a period of rest? I maintain an online presence as a writer and usually I’m itching to log on and check my accounts, look at my earnings and page views, but my severe headache made the thought of staring at a computer screen impossible.

So began my languid days of unplugging, which brought back those blissful summer memories of lazy days on my little balcony in Upstate New York, a period where I felt blissfully unburdened from the time pressures of technology. I napped. I emptied my mind. I felt something inside me release all the pent up tension of racing against an oppressive and much too ambitious To-Do List.

I also felt grateful simply to be alive.

You see, a few days earlier we had experienced the PERFECT STORM. This severe thunderstorm showed up without warning. It felt scarier and more violent than even the maelstrom that was Hurricane Irene.

As the surprise afternoon thunderstorm gathered force and speed that summer day, I felt terror rising within me. The news often spoke of tragic deaths and damage from these types of summer storms but the line of showers often went east and missed my area of the county.

But today it was here.

I looked out the window and I couldn’t see. Rain made visibility impossible and the hail beat the side of our house and the sound of the wind and force of this storm was sickening. I ran to gather my purse, cell phone, cat carriers and some important papers, all set to evacuate. As the violence reached a crescendo I heard a crash as the neighbor’s weeping willow tree came thudding down with great force...

My mind raced: If a tree comes down closer to the house will we be hurt or killed?

In my hysteria, a thousand thoughts hurtled through my mind. God let me get through this. Please protect my animals. Please will no one get hurt today? Please let me have my life.

Suddenly, ordinary life, on an ordinary day, just the mundane little stuff, seemed HUGELY appealing.

Then just as suddenly as it appeared, the storm was gone. We survived. But I felt somehow changed by the experience. I have been more compelled to appreciate the smaller ordinary moments we take for granted. I’ve been more mindful. I’ve been out photographing things that have meaning to me, taking it all in, capturing fleeting moments, with an awareness of how suddenly it could all be ripped away from me.

Time seems more precious, so I’m less likely to invest it in online pursuits. I have relished my time of unplugging. It did wonders for my headache! And it made me get in touch with my childhood...

The Joy of Unplugging

If you live in the country, turn off all the lights and look out a window. Chances are you’ll see the rural nightlife, truly experiencing the sights and sounds of nature. On the Fourth of July, I noticed a wall of fireflies lighting up the night in the wooded area that borders our property; that sweltering summer evening it felt more like the holidays as the fireflies glowed at dusk, illuminating the tall grass right up to the high trees with a dazzling array of what looked like hundreds of blinking Christmas tree lights.

I gazed on this glowy, radiant scene with a childlike sense of wonder. I hadn’t actually seen fireflies in years. It occurred to me, I’m probably missing a lot. The fireflies and other natural and manmade wonders of life have been here all along, it’s just me who drifted away from them. After all, I’m an adult now who’s dealing with very serious grownup things like the recession, and making a living and a lousy economy. I recall hearing as a young adult we must: “Give up the childish things of youth.”

But what if those childish things, which turned out to be very ordinary things like simple, innocent pleasures, are really the stuff of life and the keys to authentic happiness? That’s what I realized one ordinary July evening when I finally unplugged, discovered the magic wall of fireflies and recovered my childlike sense of wonder.

I vowed from that moment on to stop and smell the roses. Not to be so influenced by my adult peers and media and a culture that defines me by how much I spend, what car I drive, how quickly I respond to email and how fat is the size of my paycheck.

I vow to stay more connected to the natural world and in turn, to the voice of my soul. To those of you diving deep into your electronic devices after work, feverishly maintaining your online presence, afraid you’ll miss an update as the internet hurtles by at warp speed, I must say goodnight as I go offline to seek something more organic and natural.

I need balance. The only thing on my mind is what waits for me in the fields as the sun slides behind the trees and darkness descends on another summer night.

It feels really good to be in touch with that little girl within who wonders if there’ll be more fireflies tonight.

Soul Tripper Exercise:

Unplug from mobile devices and computers; take in the magic in an ordinary day. Do this for a day or long weekend. Pay attention. Breathe. Enjoy the insights and inner peace this brings you. As you look at what is around you and perhaps for the first time, really see. Practice some “mindful photography” by snapping pictures of things, perhaps fleeting things or objects in the natural world you find meaningful. Then strive to take this centered feeling back into the modern, techno world.

Can you maintain your sense of balance and the perspective that comes from being unplugged as you reenter the digital landscape? Will you be able to balance online and offline pursuits against technological peer pressure, in a world where it seems like everyone is constantly online?

If you can recover a sense of childlike wonder for the natural world, the rewards are immeasurable.

Go ahead, be brave. Unplug for a while. I’ll race you to the ice cream truck. Go on, I dare you!

Personal Mission Statement and Life’s Work

A few years ago, I went through a time when I was really into books about personal growth. My life was really in flux during that period; I find that during times of pain and upheaval, in those transitional times I have also experienced a lot of forward movement in my life, and growth too. At the time I was reading those books, I was transforming and needed to go deeper in many areas of my life, to find a deeper sense of meaning and truth. The same old stuff wasn’t working so I was ready to embrace new ways of thinking.

Some books talked about asking yourself the question: “What is my contribution to the world?” This means developing your personal vision to be an agent for growth and change. What do you want to accomplish in your life in the bigger picture? How would you like your gifts to impact the world, and what is your legacy?

Crafting Your Personal Mission Statement: Purpose and Vision

I thought about this for a long while. I even recorded it in a journal I have been keeping on and off for a few years. I came up with what I called my “personal mission statement.” In the winter of 2006 I wrote it:

“To inform, entertain, uplift and inspire through the full use of my creative gifts and artistic abilities.”

This personal mission statement really encapsulates my purpose in life, the reason I am here and why I feel I was given my Divine creative gifts in the first place: to positively impact others. You’ll sometimes hear people talk about the concept of finding “purpose and vision” and often the definition of the terms vary and overlap. For me, my purpose is to use my creative gifts for the highest good. I expand on my purpose to create a vision of what’s possible if I use my gifts effectively: I contribute to the world by educating, uplifting, inspiring change and transforming others through the use of my art and creativity.

It sounds lofty, but when you recognize yourself to be a Divine entity, you’ll see how we are all interconnected, and how our actions and work truly matter in the world.

Finding Your Life’s Work

I come from a rather small family and as the youngest or “baby” of the family, growing up I didn’t always give a lot of thought to my contribution to the world. I didn’t think much of my place in the world from a larger perspective. I didn’t think I could make an impact. It was all about me. I also had such low self esteem that I never imagined having an impact on the greater good. I was rather immature and didn’t want to assume that kind of responsibility for my actions! As Marianne Williamson would say, my “playing small does not serve the world.”

As I’ve grown older and developed as an artist and creative person, I think more and more about how my work impacts humanity, animals, and the environment. How can I give back? How can I make the world a better place through the use of my talents, my gifts?

I’ve broadened the scope of that personal mission statement, which involved using my creative gifts for the highest good, to include the concept of my “life’s work.” All my life, I wanted to become an actor and achieve professional success in that field. So years ago, I would have automatically said my life’s work would be performing and theatre. Definitely, through the careful choice of roles that illuminate something about the human condition, it is possible to have an impact on the world through the art of acting. However, in the world of professional acting or “show business” it’s often more about making money than it is about artistry.

Acting is in my heart and soul and I love it, but I believe writing is my true calling. It is writing that has helped me grow leaps and bounds as a human being while also helping me heal from past traumas. It is by writing that I feel I can really make a contribution to the world. Through the craft of writing, I can raise awareness about issues I am passionate about, like ovarian cancer and animal welfare. As I continue to share my experiences through personal essay and memoir writing, it is my hope that readers will find something universal in my story that they can connect with, that will hopefully allow them to make discoveries about their own life and experiences.

As I consider my life’s work, I plan to bring my two loves together (acting and writing) by creating my own material to perform that reflects my purpose and vision: my published memoir “Soul Tripper” is definitely a reflection of my life’s work.

Soul Tripper Exercise:

Schedule some personal time for reflection and contemplation. When you are alone and relaxed, perhaps after some quiet time or meditation, consider crafting a personal mission statement, then take out a journal and write whatever comes to mind. Do not over think this process; allow your subconscious impulses to emerge.

Consider this mission statement a guideline, not an absolute. As you transform during your soul tripping journey, this mission statement may grow and evolve with you also. As your mission statement lingers in the back of your mind, wait for subtle (or more conscious) feelings of rightness. If something feels a little “off” then go back and refine your mission statement.

Questions to ask yourself: Why am I here? What do I want for other people, living things, the planet? How can I best make a positive impact? What will be my contribution to the world? What will I leave behind through my work? What is my legacy? Am I truly living “on purpose” or just marking time through this life? If you are patient with yourself, and allow your truest purest impulses to surface, a life direction will emerge in time.

Then enlarge that personal mission statement into your true calling, or life’s work. As an example, my personal mission statement can be paraphrased as: “The full use of my creative gifts for the highest good.” I realized my true calling is my writing; my life’s work is affecting others positively and changing the world for the better through the written word.

Once you have determined your unique place in the world through creating your personal mission statement and identifying your calling, you may experience a greater feeling of peace, a deeper sense of things feeling “right” and a profound sense of wholeness. Start to center your life on these choices, your purpose, vision and life’s work. Then your actions will come from your deepest values, and what you say and do will be aligned with who you really are and how you truly feel.

And that, my friends, is AUTHENTICITY.

Namaste,

Allison

Skin Cancer Awareness: Why I Won’t Tan This Summer

When I was young, tanning was quite a cultural craze and I grew up in the era of “sun worshippers.” In fact, if you weren’t tan, it could make you a target of ridicule or bullying. I heard the actress and comedian Kathy Griffin talk about being bullied as a child for being very pale, and she was asked if she put talcum powder on her legs to make them so white! I recall my fair skinned sister being bullied and called “tuna fish” or “mayonnaise” for her pale skin; I am also extremely pale and I was belittled for my white legs and urged to get a tan, as it would make me look “healthier.”

So women and girls back in the day, we tried everything to get a tan, and boy, did some of us suffer in the process. The pressure to tan began early in a girl’s life. Pre-teen girls in my school covered the snow banks with tinfoil and baked in the sun during the rare warm days in February, so they could get an early start and become tan by spring. When my family made annual summer trips to Lake George in the Adirondacks, we always lounged by the pool at our hotel and I prayed I would get some color, but I always got burnt to a crisp. I remember one especially bad burn that resulted in chills, fever and the skin on my arms and nose radiating fire, charred like a baked potato!

Then I grew into a young woman and the pressure intensified. I felt hurt and shame when an older man I thought I loved told me I had nice legs, but they were too white for his taste (I wore jeans the rest of that summer). All through college and my early working years, I purchased tube tops and short shorts and sun tan oil from Coppertone to Bain de Soleil to engage in the sun worship that was expected.

I desperately wanted to please, to be liked and accepted, to fit into mass culture. I didn’t have a strong enough sense of self to do what was best for me, to risk being too different. I would sometimes hear this phrase in my youth: “Beauty knows no pain.” In other words, to live up to a cultural standard of beauty, a woman needed to be willing to suffer by engaging in potentially harmful beauty rituals.

I have to confess, I tried to get rid of my pale skin and do what was expected of me, but I didn’t enjoy baking in the sun. I attempted to get fashionably tan, but I’d always burn painfully or if I did eventually tan, it wouldn’t be even. Then after a summer of spreading on the tanning oil, I noticed I developed a few dark spots on my stomach; I wasn’t sure what they were and that concerned me.

Still, I kept getting messages from culture that I needed to tan. Magazines were filled with images of bronze colored bodies wearing expensive bikinis, dripping in diamonds and gold jewelry, always pictured on a beautiful beach or a fancy yacht. The implication was that tanning made us younger, thinner, richer and more desirable.

What they didn’t tell us was that tanning can kill you.

I never heard much about skin cancer awareness when I was growing up. It took my Dad’s bouts with skin cancer to make me sit up and take notice about the dangers of tanning. My father has light eyes and paler skin like me (we’re of German and Dutch descent) and all those hours Dad spent working outdoors without sun protection took its toll on his skin. When I saw the bandages covering Dad’s face and other parts of his body, I vowed to never again give in to cultural pressures to be tan.

Now I embrace my pale skin, and I never let anyone shame me for simply being myself, someone with a lighter complexion. Fortunately, our culture seems to be catching up a bit, and now you hear a lot about the dangers of tanning beds and baking in the sun. However, we’re still crazed about bronzers and self tanners. As I strive to live a more natural, holistic life, I wonder about what kinds of chemicals are in all those supposedly harmless self tanners. Each summer, I say I’ll try a “tanning towel” to give my legs a little color, but I haven’t so far, because I’m sensitive and lots of self tanners have unpleasant odors.

If you’d like to raise your skin cancer awareness, Neutrogena has a website that offers a free self exam kit and more information about skin health:

http://www.chooseskinhealth.com

I believe it’s an act of radical self acceptance and authenticity to embrace your natural skin, whatever its color. For more on my journey to skin cancer awareness and why I won’t tan, read my article:

Why I Won’t Tan This Summer by Allison West Published on BeyondJane

As I walk down the sultry streets of my small town in New York’s Hudson Valley this summer, I’m aware that I’m a little different. In fact, I feel a little bit like a rebel of sorts. I feel like I’ve committed an outrageous act that doesn’t fit into the norm here.

What have I done that so goes against the grain of my sleepy little upstate community?

I refuse to tan.

Read full article...

Natural Ways to Cope With Summer Depression and Anxiety

Summertime...the living is easy...but not for everyone. When the warm weather season finally rolls around after the long dark winter months, there is often an assumption that good spirits will follow. Winter is commonly believed to be the worst time for individuals prone to depression, but paradoxically, it is summer that triggers anxiety and depression in many people.

I was reading a fashion magazine that talked about getting your wardrobe in shape for a busy summer packed with social functions like weddings, barbecues, picnics, graduations and family vacations. Much like the holiday season, summer can be a whirlwind of social activity; however, summer depression and anxiety aren’t as widely talked about or acknowledged like the wintertime blues. For summer depression sufferers, this can lead to feelings of guilt or shame, and the burden of feeling “different” than others.

If you struggle with feeling sad, depressed or anxious during what is supposed to be a feel-good summer season, you are certainly not alone. If you are interested in holistic living and seek natural ways to deal with your anxiety and depression, I’ve published two articles with more information on how to cope. My first article talks about natural ways to cope with summer depression:

Seven Tips for Coping with Summer Depression by Allison West Published on Healthmad

I’ve heard it said that July is “the happiest month.” Long lazy days, vacation time, and warm sunny weather lead many to regard summer as the feel-good time of the year.

But for a surprising number of people, summer is a time for mild to severe depression. Just as winter can cause seasonal affective disorder in many people, summertime can trigger a lesser known form of reverse seasonal affective disorder, called summer depression. Read more...

The second article I wrote talks about some natural ways to cope with anxiety:

Five Natural Ways to Cope With Anxiety by Allison West Published on Healthmad

The world we live in is a stressful place, fraught with anxiety producing situations. Worries about the recession, employment, money and retirement, and healthcare have taken their toll on many people, and while there are signs things might be improving, difficult economic conditions have provoked anxiety in many individuals.

The bleak economy combined with personal stressors like relationships and family can lead to a first panic attack or episode of extreme anxiety in sensitive people. Some will turn to prescription medications to deal with panic, while others prefer a natural, non-medicated approach for coping with anxiety. Read more...

These articles and my blog posts are not intended to diagnose or treat severe summer or winter depression and anxiety. If you are anxious or depressed, please consult with a qualified physician or mental health professional to find the appropriate treatment for you. If you experience summer depression or feelings of anxiety, I hope these tips and information offer some self help strategies to help you cope with the summertime blues.

Complex Ovarian Cyst and Wishes Fulfilled

Spring is in full bloom in the Hudson Valley, and this past week, everyone has been getting ready for Cinco de Mayo celebrations.

This photo shows one of my favorite “thinking spots” in the Hudson Valley, where I often go to dream, think things over and make some wishes. Over the past few years, I’ve developed a fascination with wishing, but have I been wishing well?

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to catch a few minutes of a PBS television program called “Wishes Fulfilled” with Wayne Dyer. He spoke about wishing in a more active sense, not just making a wish in dry, intellectual terms, but actually experiencing wishes as if they have already been fulfilled.

As I was watching the show, I was caught up in worries about my complex ovarian cyst (for more background about my journey with ovarian cysts, read the posts labeled “Ovarian Cancer Awareness” on my Comma Cafe blog).

For the past eight years now, I’ve been in what the medical community calls “watchful waiting” to monitor a complex cyst inside my right ovary for anything that might look cancerous. Over that time, I’ve gone from outright terrified and confused, to more sanguine, to a bit complacent about the situation with my ovarian cyst.

There have been times I’ve felt the white-hot fear of cancer pour over my whole body, causing anxiety and apprehension; other times I’ve pushed the dread to the far corners of my mind, almost forgotten. I put off my doctor’s appointment for a long while, but a few weeks ago, I had another pelvic ultrasound to keep track of what’s going on with my complex ovarian cyst.

No matter how long I “watch and wait” this cyst, I always feel a sense of horror and dread at the prospect of a phone call with test results. Is this the time I will need a laparoscopy, or is it time to consult the gynecologic oncologist? Will I lose an ovary if the cyst has to be removed and biopsied? On top of that, I also needed a mammogram, and I’ve been told that breast cancer runs in my father’s side of the family.

All of this caused my inner tensions to be running sky high as I stumbled across Dr. Dyer’s TV program that day, about “Wishes Fulfilled.” It seemed like a lot to ask the Universe, to make a big wish for a good test result. Could my wishing for healthy breasts and ovaries possibly have any impact on my test results? I’m a wishing enthusiast, but suddenly, I felt skeptical.

Still, it was worth a try, I had nothing to lose, putting some positive energy out there into the Universe in the spirit of the Law of Attraction, where our thoughts become things.

I listened to Wayne Dyer talk about experiencing your wish as if it is already happening, as if it has already been fulfilled. For a few moments before you go to sleep at night, let yourself experience the feelings evoked by the fulfillment of your wish. Don’t just wish with your head, wish with your whole being and your heart. That triggered in me something I had read years ago about the concept of remembered wellness. As I drifted off to sleep that night, despite my fears, I tried to hold in my mind this intention of having a healthy body. I tried to manifest it with my whole being.

Truthfully, I’m not sure what effect if any that had on my prognosis, but it gave me comfort and triggered something of a relaxation response that let me rest and get some sleep. I also drew comfort from other things Dr. Dyer discussed that day. He shared that he was diagnosed with leukemia, but I noted his strength, grace, humor and optimism in facing disease. Watching him speak about his own cancer, I felt inspired to handle any bad news coming my way with a measure of grace.

Anita Moorjani was Wayne Dyer’s guest on his show “Wishes Fulfilled.” Moorjani wrote a book called “Dying To Be Me” and I sat transfixed as she shared her story with the audience. She described how she was not expected to live; her organs were shutting down due to cancer. Her family was gathered around her bed, when she had a “near death” experience that forever changed her life. Moorjani survived and miraculously, today she is cancer-free.

That near death experience was transformative, and it led to profound self actualization. Watching her, I noted her powerful sense of presence.

Something Anita Moorjani shared about authenticity really struck a chord with me. She said that before her near death experience, she always tried to be a very positive person, which often translated into being a “people pleaser.” NOW, she has learned that it is more important to be authentic!

Authenticity means being true to our deepest sense of our self, honoring our Divine Wise Self, even if it means we don’t please others, or go along with what they want us to be.

I’m so glad I heard Dyer and Moorjani speak that day. It gave me a sense of peace, a calm eye in my personal storm of fear and nervous energy. Shortly after seeing the program, I received my test results. I do have a uterine polyp that might need treatment; however, my complex ovarian cyst is actually smaller in size!

Some people dream of winning the lottery, of having tons of money to buy things or take trips, or other kinds of material concerns. For me, the greatest wish that could be fulfilled is having my health. When you stop to think about all the things we chase in life, like money, power, material possessions or status and position, what is it all really worth if you’re ill? If you’re not in good health, what do those things mean?

Sometimes I flip by the home shopping channels where I hear pitch people selling products like fancy watches, designer denim or purses and make-up that will make other people like us more, or make us happier with ourselves. One thing that my journey with ovarian cysts has taught me is to appreciate life in a more simple way. All those things you think you need, like other people’s approval, the right car or house or possessions, they aren’t the keys to happiness.

Authenticity, health and wellness are things that really bring me lasting joy.

My journey has also taught me radical self acceptance. The other day right before my mammogram (which I’m relieved was normal) I caught my reflection in the mirror as I was dressing. I liked my body. Not only that, in all my body’s imperfections, I actually reveled in my feminine form. It was a long time coming. When I was much younger, all I saw was the flaws, always trying to change to please a guy, or society.

I think that young women and women of all ages are too indoctrinated into mass culture and its messages about body image. (Have you heard about brides on feeding tubes to fit into their wedding dresses? Talk about violating a healthy sense of self and body image!) The older I get, the more I feel the urge to celebrate my curves, and I always smile when I see images of unapologetic curvy women like Brigitte Bardot and Marilyn Monroe. I want to plaster the walls of my office with their movie posters:

“And God Created Woman”!

Now that I could finally love and embrace my body, celebrate my femininity, tears filled my eyes as I contemplated a test result that would cause me to lose a body part, like a breast or ovary.

I realized that I don’t need to change and rearrange myself to please critical, judgmental people; I need to gravitate toward those who accept and embrace authentic me. That’s a radical consciousness shift for me.

I feel such a sense of gratitude, that I have my health. I know that someday things could change, and that’s why I’ll keep up with my regular tests and screenings. But for today, I am healthy and that’s everything!

I have read that the ovaries represent our deepest creativity. The power of our feminine creativity needs full expression. Some say that blocked energies, like blocked creative power, have an effect on the body.

I wonder if I released some blocked creative power with the publication of my memoir. My complex ovarian cyst appears to be shrinking. There was something very healing for me about exploring the shadow sides of myself, releasing shame, sharing my story so honestly and honoring the authentic me. It certainly represents a true unblocking of creative feminine power, and a bold move toward a fuller sense of Self.

I’ve become really interested in the ways that nutrition, exercise, and emotional states impact the body, and it’s something I’m definitely going to continue to study as my journey to ovarian cancer awareness and holistic living continues. I wish you a very Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Note: All of my blog posts about my health represent my own research, opinions and personal experiences. My book and blogs are not intended to treat or diagnose any medical conditions. If you have any questions or concerns about your own health, please consult with a qualified physician.

For further reading, my book Soul Tripper has an entire chapter devoted to my journey with ovarian cysts called: “Close Encounters of the Ovarian Kind.”

My Happiness Project

This is a photo taken on the first day of spring at a beautiful little local park in the Hudson Valley; I always think of the arrival of spring as a time of awakenings, new beginnings and a sense of renewal.

Last spring I finished reading “The Happiness Project” by author Gretchen Rubin. It’s much easier reading than the “self-help/personal growth” book I read before that, called “Eat Pray Love” (by author Elizabeth Gilbert). I actually started to read “Eat Pray Love” quite a while ago, but gave up on it because I couldn’t slog through the early, self indulgent chapters about Liz Gilbert’s crumbling marriage, her divorce drama and her relationship with a young man named David. It was long on navel gazing and neurosis and I couldn’t take it, so I gave up!

But I so wanted to read her account of being in India, at the ashram of David’s guru, so I decided one day to start all over again with “Eat Pray Love” and reread it from the beginning. I kept going as she began her inner and outer journey, traveling from NYC to Italy, then India and finally Bali. I’m so glad I finished the book. I enjoyed it more and more as I kept reading, and her stories of India and her profound inner opening and spiritual awakenings were very valuable to me as I continued to write "Soul Tripper,” the memoir about my own spiritual and life journey.

For the past few years, I’ve been reading some “find yourself” type of books, generally centering on a woman’s quest for authenticity, wholeness and spiritual awakening. I’ve been in that kind of questioning, reevaluating phase of my life for a few years, so I gravitated toward those types of books, and I feel like I learned a lot from them. As much as I liked “Eat Pray Love” though, I’m finding that “The Happiness Project” is really directly applicable to my own life.

To find fulfillment, inner peace and self actualization, the heroine of “Eat Pray Love” had to divorce her husband, throw off the bonds of comfortable domesticity, put her worldly belongings in storage, get some money together and travel to far off exotic places like Italy, India and Indonesia, make new foreign friends, find a foreign lover, learn a new language, and meet a Balinese medicine man. Phew!

My head spins just thinking about all that sweeping change. But as Gretchen Rubin, the author of “The Happiness Project” says: suppose we don’t want to abandon our homes, marriages, jobs, relationships and travel halfway around the world to be happy? What if we want to find happiness in our own backyard, to feel self actualized and authentic against the backdrop of our existing lives, right in our own kitchen?

That’s really the boat I’m in. I’d love to travel the world, but I’m not in a position to find myself by traveling to foreign lands right now. I have a certain amount of personal freedom because I’m single, I’m freelancing, and I don’t own a home, etc. But I can’t pack a backpack, hit the road right now and leave everything I know in search of what’s out there, what is Ultimate Truth, and what’s the truest part of me. I’d like to have a profound life altering experience in my own home, or maybe at the local park! I’m all for travel, but I’ve always suspected that the real journey is within...

This is why I enjoy “The Happiness Project” and find it so valuable. Gretchen Rubin invites us to use the book and the tools at her web sites to start our own, very personal “Happiness Project” because as she points out: each project is unique to each individual person, so my happiness project will look a lot different than your happiness project. However, we can all learn a lot about happiness by sharing information and inspiration about what has (and hasn’t) worked for us as we strive to be happier.

“The Happiness Project” begins with her January happiness resolutions, which center on increasing energy and vitality through things like clearing clutter, downsizing and organizing, getting healthy through exercise and getting more sleep.

I’ve been doing some clutter busting this past month, cleaning out and organizing, letting go of some things I’ve held onto for years. I noticed that when I first began going through a huge mass of notes and papers that accumulated around my writing area, I felt an odd sense of dread and uneasiness at attacking this clutter. Maybe the clutter is like some sort of cloak drawn around me, a safety zone of messy good intentions. I found pile after pile of scribbled notes, abandoned to-do lists, ideas of things to write about and possible markets, pipe dreams and some good intentions that never seemed to pan out.

It’s scary to wipe away that protective clutter and realize how I procrastinate sometimes. It’s a little daunting to face things that didn’t work out and to look realistically at failed to-do lists and the “maybe someday” type of wish lists that seem to surround my desk. The first days I found it hard to clear my clutter away, then it got liberating! I am the type of pack rat who scrawls a valuable reminder or even a password on slips of paper that are then buried in a stack of useless clutter! So I wanted to clean out carefully, finding a system to drill down to the valuable information while clearing out useless garbage.

I purchased a few very small wire bound notepads (I think they call them flip pads?) from the local big box store. One is for passwords and the most important information I want to keep handy, and the other notepad is for web sites I want to make a note of, or other things I might want to remember. This system is working really well for me. As I attack the piles around my computer and my awfully cluttered desk drawer (the “drawer of shame,” you should see it!) I simply go through the pieces of paper, tossing the old stuff and making a note of what’s useful before I throw it away.

I can’t believe all the really useful information I’ve found as I’ve gone through the clutter and organized the rest! I unearthed some notes about possible coaches for the solo shows I’m developing. I found a few extremely helpful notes I’d taken about freelance writing sites. I’m having “so that’s where that was!” epiphanies on a daily basis. I feel so organized, and the other day I realized I was having spontaneous bursts of emotion that I could only label as...happiness!

I’ve surely got the organizing fever! I’m filing new material as it comes into my office so it won’t sit around, become clutter (and multiply in the night like rabbits!) I cleaned off one whole shelf that had been covered up with clutter for a year! I even polished said shelf with a duster and enjoyed the space! I like to call it my “Zen shelf”...a little oasis of calm and order that I can gaze on with a feeling of accomplishment!


I guess my “Happiness Project” is part of what I call “Allison 2.0” Or maybe I should call it “Allison 3.0.” What I’ve recognized as this third major shift or phase in my life. The first phase of my life I was more indoctrinated into what mass culture and those around me thought I should be: secretly wanting to follow my own path, thinking my own thoughts, but afraid to really fully express me. That was when I was studying business when my authentic self wanted to be a creative artist, and an actor.

Then came the next phase, which was brewing in me for a long time: I could no longer deny my artist self and I made her central to my life. I even threw off a lot of my old thinking and searched for my own authenticity (a process that’s still continuing). I like to call that my Hippie “Bohemian” phase, and if I could have found a way to go off the grid, live in a yurt in the woods, I would have. A lot of the revolution just occurred in my own soul, with new ways of thinking and a liberated viewpoint, a real awakening to consciousness, and who I am as a being on this planet.

Something shifted in me last summer which brought me to life phase three, I’m in right now. It’s sort of a blending of the earliest Allison and Bohemian artist Allison into the truest, most authentic me. Events of last year made me realize I didn’t have to reject all of my earliest experiences, which I thought of as constricting and not the “real me.” But I realized that a lot of people seemed to remember me fondly from my younger years, that Ali had made a positive impression on friends and teachers, so there had to be something authentic there, of me, coming through to those people.

When I published my first article, it was at the start of a new decade in my life, and I’ve been publishing articles and working on my writing as I move through this decade. For the remainder of this decade I pray for balance and to work on uncovering my true self, blending the best of past selves with new discoveries about me, to bring it all into balance as a harmonious whole: younger me, older me, current me. I’ve heard it said that the self is rather fluid and shifting and can change a lot from hour to hour, day to day.

I’ve learned something from “The Happiness Project” book that anchors me, and keeps me in touch with what I perceive as “self” even if it is constantly growing and changing: be yourself. She strives to “Be Gretchen” I strive to “Be Allison.”

Sounds simple, but it can be hard. I do it by paying attention to my own likes and dislikes, to what feels right and wrong to me, what feels uniquely me. Yes, this feels like Allison, no those values aren’t mine, maybe that is for me, but I’m really not sure. It’s a constant process of “self” discovering, staying true to yourself. I feel like the clutter busting is an affirmation of self. I’ve heard that the universe responds to action! And when we clear space in our life, get rid of what’s not working, we make room for new positive things to flow into our lives. Maybe that could result in more energy to get a project done, the courage to go in a new direction, or something great showing up in my life, like abundance!

Can’t wait to see what happens. If you’re looking to make changes and like personal growth reading, check out “The Happiness Project” as it could inspire you to start a happiness project of your own!

The Soul Tripper Journey

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”-- Anais Nin

Hello, I’m Allison...welcome to the Soul Tripper blog! I’m so glad you found me, either through an internet search for the title of my book, or from the link posted on my writing blog, The Comma Cafe.

It’s serendipity that you are here. Perhaps you are longing for a deeper sense of self and a feeling of wholeness, or perhaps you want to make big changes, pursue your goals and dreams and live a more holistic lifestyle. Maybe you are also a seeker with questions about spirituality. This is also my journey: what I like to call the path of the Soul Tripper.

I’ve been on a path of questioning, seeking and exploring for about ten years now. I’ve been blessed to know a few friends who acted as mentors for me, mirroring back to me my most authentic, creative self. I’ve been assisted in my journey by friends who are angels; however, the discoveries I’ve made are all mine, I own them, and I’ve been inspired by all sorts of different things that were catalysts for inner transformation.

In 2009, I had the idea to record a lot of these life changes I was experiencing, by writing a memoir. I have been working as a freelance writer for about five years, but nothing really prepared me to sit down and write my life story; I’m entirely self-taught as a memoir writer. Over the course of the next two years, I managed to write the story of my life (so far) in twelve chapters; the work came from my heart and soul and I believe it was divinely inspired.

In the summer 2011, I completed the first draft of my memoir; then I decided to self-publish the manuscript through CreateSpace.com. My memoir called “Soul Tripper: A Journey of Awakening” by Allison West, was published September 18, 2011 and is available on CreateSpace.com and Amazon.com: see the “Soul Tripper Book” section of this blog for ordering information.

This is just one part of the “Soul Tripper” journey. Soul Tripper was intended to be performed as a one woman show, and it’s written in that style. So the next huge goal for me is to actually stage my memoir as a one woman show, which is a big dream of mine (I know it will be life altering for me and a huge growth experience!)

The Soul Tripper blog was created to help get the word out about the Soul Tripper book and solo show. It’s also a space for me to record my journey toward living a more authentic, holistic life. I’ll also be posting information about writing memoir, self publishing and creating a solo show. I hope you’ll enjoy reading my thoughts and sharing my adventures, and also become inspired to begin your own soul tripping journey!